Monday, March 21, 2011

How to:

How to: Survive a 7 hour road trip with three small children. Alone.

1. Stock up on lots and lots of caffeinated drinks, because you are carrying precious cargo.

2. Fill up on gas before you leave, and realize you just spent on a tank of gas what your grandmother spent to purchase her first house.

3. Take a "catch-all" bag filled with books, drawing boards, and infinite amounts of child-approved snacks.

4. Pay $16 in toll, and contemplate for the next 30 minutes about what other amazing things you could have purchased with the exact same $16. Like a pair of shoes from TJ Maxx or a really expensive tube of chapstick.

5. Prepare yourself to answer one million phone calls from your husband, in-laws, and parents making sure everything is "going OK."

6. Look at all the unopened caffeinated drinks you purchased, and wonder, "What was I thinking? Caffeine? Who is nodding off in this "Veggie Tales blasting-little girl squealing-little boy demanding" mini-van? No.One.

7. Map out a Chick-fil-a at the halfway mark and throw yourself a celebration for making it halfway while giving yourself a pep talk in preparation for the remaining leg of the trip.

8. Listen to the Justin Bieber Pandora channel and love every minute of it.

9. Then tweet about it your new found love for the Biebs.

10. Then regret tweeting about when you are slayed by all the "musical geniuses" in twitterverse.

11. Take a potty in the car, to avoid as many exiting stops as possible.

12. Load up on the DVDs - and bring your headphones or you WILL be able to quote every word from Robin Hood, Beauty and the Beast, and Aristocats.

13. Don't bring the dog.

14. Run your fingers through your hair, and then think about how you want to grow your hair out. Then think about the Kardashian sisters and wonder how on earth they all got blessed with that awesome hair? And those eyelasshes. Are they fake or is it a really good tube of mascara? I wonder what their budget is for make-up. Wouldn't it be cool to rummage through their make-up drawer? Did I just pass into Oklahoma?

15. Set-aside $50 from the Spring Break fund and go buy yourself something oober soft or extra fattening the day you return.


Whittney said...

I love it! You did it!

Unknown said...

Glad you all made it safe and sound! I'm impressed that's quite an accomplishment, now you know there is nothing you can't do! Thanks for the fun post!

Kristy said...

Do you feel like you can take on the world now? I hope you guys had the best time! We missed seeing you on Saturday.

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