Saturday, November 8, 2008

the end of one life, the beginning of another....

This morning, my darling 3 month old daughter awoke at 6am, which is surprisingly early for her. She is a wonderful sleeper. I sluggishly rolled out of bed and mozied my way down the hall to Peyton's bedroom. I turned her over, and as she slowly opened her eyes, she smiled, as she always does when she sees her mommy. My heart melted as her toothless grin was aimed directly at me. I brought her back to bed and fed her while I thought about the blessings in my life. It is amazing what a mom thinks about when she is nursing in the wee hours of the morning. They are precious moments that I wouldn't change for anything.

She finished eating and I sat her up to burp. She is a loud burper and this time was no exception. She belched like a teenage boy and it awoke my husband. We laughed about it and he sat up and made silly faces to make her smile. As I turned her around and looked at her, I began praying over her new, sweet little life. I prayed that she would obey her parents, keep her mind pure, and make better choices than I did. I prayed that she would grow up to be a woman that loved God with all her heart. I prayed for her future husband, that he would keep his mind pure. As I was praying these things out loud, my husband said, "it is amazing the potential of a new life." She gets to do what many of us wish we could - start anew!

After a few more moments of cooing, I got up to put her back to bed. I went into her room and began to just walk around her room, the room I had prepared for her for nine long months. I got lost in thinking about the small, intricate details I had done to this room than no one probably even noticed, but I knew it. The time and labor it took to paint that ridiculous tree on her wall, and trying to keep my sweet 18 month old away from that wall until it dried. That is when I began to think - this room is filled with memories. Memories of making the room, memories of the prayers spoken in this room, and the memory I was making just then of rocking my baby to sleep. Its the memories in life that are most important and the ones that no one can take away. I thanked God for this life in my arms and laid her down to sleep.

About 15 minutes later, I got a phone call from my mom saying my grandfather had passed away. He had been diagnosed with cancer about a year ago, and he was a wonderful Christian man. I had just spoken with him the night before and told him that if I got to heaven before he did, that I would wait for him; and if he got there before me, I wanted him to wait for me. I told him to save a dance for me, and that one day we would sing in the choir together. I had no idea that it would be the last time I would even speak o him.

He had passed away about 20 minutes before that phone call. My mind quickly went to what I had been doing 20 minutes earlier - rocking Peyton in my arms. As I sat here and thanked God for blessing me with this new life, God had chosen to take a life back to him. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. I am so thankful for the memories of my grandfather. He was a wonderful man and did things for me that I didn't deserve. But I can't help but think the Lord was trying to get my attention that morning. I need not worry about the hustle and bustle of life. I want to stop fretting about the laundry, the dishes, and have everything disinfected. I need to stop pressuring myself into being that "perfect" mom that makes beautiful scrapbooks and has her 18 month old potty trained. Instead, get on the floor and get messy playing with play dough, finger paints, and sand. Let them swish around in the tub and get water of the floor -in fact makes waves with them! Take them to the park, even though it is difficult to get two kids in the car. Most of all, get out there and make memories. After all, the memories we create with our loved ones are what we cherish most.

So get out and make some memories with those you love the most - you won't regret it.

2 comments:

JB and Cindy said...

Thank-you for posting something I needed to hear. It's easy to get caught up in the "details", especially w/ a new baby keeping life busy. I am so sorry for your loss. Your family is in our prayers. Love you guys!

Krishua said...

Hugs, Meredith. I'm sorry about the passing of your grandfather but I'm so glad that you know right where he is now. <3

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