We made the move.
I packed the house, Ben loaded the truck, and we all piled into our two cars and headed north. As I was pulling away from our house, I kept thinking about all the precious moments my family shared here. I brought both my baby girls home to this little abode. Ellie Kate took her first steps in the living room. I worked for hours preparing their nurseries (which no one ever really sees, by the way). A lot of my memories are under that roof, and I was sad to let them go.
Several months ago, Ben came to me and told me he had received a vision from the Lord. No, not like a burning bush or a hand on the wall - although God could have chosen to do those things - rather, he continued to get this same vision in his mind. Ben felt the Lord telling him to begin preparing to step into the boat and go into deeper waters. He was to put up his sails and be ready.
When he first told me, I told him to go across the street and talk it over with our often prophetic neighbor, because honestly, I wasn't sure if Ben had lost his marbles or not.
You know, I had kinda forgotten about all of that when this church mess arose. I was so consumed by "why is this happening?" and "woe is me," that I completely forgot that the Lord had begun preparing us for this very moment months ago. It wasn't until I was sitting on the floor playing with Ellie Kate and her ultimate toy favorite - Noah's ark - that it dawned on me. THE BOAT! Of course, God has been orchestrating this in our hearts and preparing us to step out onto this boat and head to deeper waters.
We had even begun to put our sails up months ago as we had been interviewing with several churches. Why hadn't it been so much clearer to me? Why am I so quick to question God in the midst of the storm that I don't even notice he already put the umbrella over my head?
As I was laying on the floor, stunned by the goodness of the Lord, Ellie Kate handed me one of her ark figurines. "Here mommy, you be the mommy." As I looked down, I noticed she had given me Noah's wife. The often forgotten about figurine by my two year old, who would rather be amused by the elephants, giraffes, and monkeys. But isn't she often forgotten about by the rest of us too? We all praise the faith of Noah and the obedience he willingly gave to the commands of the Lord. But what about his wife? What about her obedience?
I began to think about Mrs. Noah and the sacrifices she must have made. Her husband came home from work one day and declares he is going to build this thing called an "ark" because this thing called "rain" is going to come. I highly doubt she ran to pack her suitcase. I mean, cmon, she had her kids to think about. And what about her home? And what about food? If he stops working, how will they eat? What is someone in the family gets sicks? How will God provide? All questions I have found myself asking in the past two weeks.
But Noah builds the boat, just as God commanded. I wonder if she thought to herself...you think this boat will really ever come together?
And then God says he will send animals two by two. I wonder if she thought to herself...you think all those animals will really come?
And then God says to get inside the boat and He will shut the door. I wonder if she thought to herself...maybe God will forget to shut the door and all this hard work will be for nothing.
And then God says the rain will come. I wonder if Mrs. Noah thought...maybe this is all just a bad dream.
God says he will destroy the world. I wonder if she thought about Ms. Suzie, her friend down the road, and how she would miss her.
Then God says the rain will stop. I bet she said to God, "Now don't forget about us God. Don't forget to turn off the rain eventually. Don't forget. Remember God. ITS IMPORTANT!"
Then God puts a rainbow in the sky promising to never flood the earth again. Yet, I wonder if she lived in constant fear that this tragedy and heartache she had endured would happen all over again.
You see, God proved himself faithful to her and her family over and over and over again, yet she still doubted with each promise of the Lord. Just like God has proven himself faithful to my family over and over and over again, and yet I still question. Where will we live? How will the Lord provide? When will Ben get a job and where will it be? Don't forget, God, Ben needs a job! Don't forget ITS IMPORTANT! Will I ever find friends like the women I have grown to love at Wednesday morning Bible study? And are there any guaranties that this heartache and tragedy I have felt over the past two weeks won't happen again?
As I sat, deep in thought, oblivious to the sounds and chatter of my two year old, Ellie Kate grabbed my face in her hands and said, "Cmon mommy, its time to get in the boat." And with that, she took Mrs. Noah right out of my hands, stuck her in the boat with the rest of the figurines and closed it up.
"Yep, that's right, Ellie Kate, its time to get in the boat."
God is so good. He was working through my toddler to teach me one of the greatest lessons of faith I have ever been taught in my life. Stop worrying, and get in the boat. God has this little family of mine tucked away in his hands, and there is no safer place to be. God is in control, and while I may not see or understand of even grasp all of His doings - I trust Him.
God has something great in store for this family and for some reason, He has chosen to protect us, just as He protected Noah's family. And I can't wait to see what is in store for us.
