Happy Birthday, Little Boy

Oh, sweet baby boy, I miss you so much.



I miss your squishy face and your crinkly nose.

I miss your kissable cheeks and your ability to fit oh, so perfectly in the crook of my side during a Sunday afternoon nap.

I miss the days you would lie on my chest, so still and peaceful, as I thanked God for you with every simple, sweet breath.

I miss the way your big blue eyes would stare up at me as I spent hours counting your toes, smelling your hair, and basking in your newborn-ness.



I miss the stillness. I miss the smallness. I miss the newness.

***************

You are growing, baby boy. You are becoming a toddler and you are becoming your own.

You love to eat vegetables, you play with all things "boy," and you adore your big sisters.

I see in your tiny face, your determination and ability. You have such strong persistence and you love to live loudly. Your energy is great, but your heart is even greater.

Oh, the plans God must have for you, sweet boy.

I still love your chubby cheeks.

I still love to count your fingers and toes.

I still love to let you sleep in the crook of my side.

And I still love your big blue eyes.

But even more than all those things, my precious son, I love being your mommy.

Princess Day

Sorry for the lack of blog-o-riffic posts lately. Ben has been feverishly interviewing (SHREEK!), and we have been consumed with way too much.

You know, like Christmas shopping, preparing for Thanksgiving in Missouri, football watching, and frolicking around like a little princess.


Ok, so maybe we left the frolicking to the little girls, but I was busy capturing it all.

Sometimes, in the midst of all life's craziness. we forget to just have fun as a family. So a few days ago, we declared the day "dress-up" day. The girls could wear whatever they wanted. And of course, like the good little girls that they are, they chose to be pretty as a princess.

We spent the day outside. Playing games...

Doing massive labor work....

Telling our deepest, dish-iest secrets....

and even getting whisked away on a mighty horse, (errr, lawnmower) by our prince....

What a great day.

My Faves - the not so obvious ones

*Before I start, thank you all for the kind words and e-mails. Ben and I appreciate them greatly. God is doing mighty things in our little (only by stature) family, and I love that I get to share my heart with each of you. Consider yourselves hugged.*

A good friend of mine is having a baby! Hip-Hip-Hooray!

And so is everyone else I know.

Ok, maybe that is a wee bit dramatic. But this is the first big pregnancy wave that I have not been a part of.

Hold the phone, THAT deserves the three cheers. At least my uterus is cheering.

Anywho, I thought I would compile a list of my personal faves beginning from infancy, all the way through...well, through four years old, because that is as far as my motherhood has taken me.

And I thought I would spare you all the typical yadda yadda that everyone else suggests.

We all know to get a good swing and a pack and play, at least that is what EVERYBODY puts on their list. But these things, my dear friends, are items that no one really tells you about, that you will forever be indebted to me for bringing you up to speed on.

And I expect and hand-written thank-you note from each of you.

I'm serious. I like mail.

*Ahem* Back to the list.

The Early Years

If you plan on breastfeeding, consider this your formal warning: IT IS HARD WORK!

Seriously, no one tells you just how difficult it will be, especially those first few weeks. But now having successfully breastfed three babies all the way through the first year, I can single handily suggest that each of you need be prepared with one of these:

And not just any one of these. THE one of these. This is the Medela Freestyle hands free double breast pump. It makes breastfeeding that much easier and will not ensure success, but will prepare you for the best possible experience. It does not require a plug, so it is completely portable (including for use in the car or the state fair - yes, I did.), it remembers your specific moment of let-down and pumps accordingly, and is easily storable and washable. Yes. it is almost $400, but if you are really serious about breastfeeding, make the investment. It really will make the job easier.

Moving on.

Here is yet another commonly oops-I-forgot-to-mention-that. When babies eat, they spit up. They spit up a lot! And they spit up while they are asleep. Don't ask me why. Just mark it down as one of those things you can ask God someday.

But in the meantime, thank goodness for these...

The spit catcher, as my husband and I have lovingly referred to them as. When your baby spits up, or errr, leaks from the other end, just rip this bad boy off your sheets, and whola!, no midnight laundry loads for you. Like I said, you can thank me later. :-)

Aden and Anias swaddling blankets. Breathable, yet do its job. A MUST have. Don't buy the typical "swaddling blankets." They swaddle for two weeks, and that is IT!




And what baby post would be complete without a darling picture of my baby? And his teething necklace. A definite must. Be warned, though. Not all amber teething necklaces are the same. It has to be 100% Baltic amber. Some places use fillers, which don't allow it to do its job, thus making said necklace into nothing more then...well, a necklace. And who needs that? Especially at 2 in the morning when your baby is up screaming because his gums ache.



Oh, and when you buy one (hip-green-baby.com is the best), make sure you put it in the sun for a few hours before wearing. It helps activate it.





I put mine on the kiddos when they are about six weeks, and never take it off.


Those In-Between Times:

The essentials for the toddler years are plain and simple. Keep them fed, and make that food as accessible as possible.





I love this contraption, recommended to me on another blog.

It is great for on-the-go snacks, allowing five different varieties! Not to mention, if one of my charming children drops one of the cups on the floor, have no fear, there are four more.

Ahhh, the sounds of happy children.

And this is a new one for me. But with Stone, it has been a must.

I hate baby food so much. In fact, it is such a horrible stage, that sometimes I avoid it all together. The messy faces, ruined outfits, and messy baby food jars -all of it is just too much.

Until now.



This all organic baby food is my new best friend. Just pop the top, give it to the young-in, and they suck it down. No jar, no spoon, no mess, and no dishes. Oh, and one happy mama.

And while we are on the subject of food, I adore these type of high-chairs.

Not only do they not take up any floor space in your dining room, but they don't take up a chair around the table either. Just scoot it on and voila! And you could be like me, and obsess about the germs in restaurants and take said high chair with you. Just about wherever you go.

The Later Years - or you know, age 2-4:

By the time your kiddos has reached the latter toddler years, you pretty much got this thing figured out. At least, you think you do. Until your child puts gum in her hair, and you are calling your mother absolutely hysterical while googling quick remedies. And the you rethink your stability.

But at least you know what your kid likes.

But just for the sake of it, I included a few items that I have loved for my growing toddlers.

First of all, make your children use a straw sippy cup. From.Day.One. It is too difficult to teach them to tilt their cup, and even if they master that, once they transition to a straw, they still try and tip, thus resulting in a humungo mess. Oy.

And this straw sippy is the Cadillac of sippy cups.

Get one. And then put me in your will.

And I have said it before, but I will say it again. I heart this toy.

The Sweet Pea MP3 player has been a lifesaver. It has soothed my fretting newborn, been background music for my crawling babe, entertained my potty-training tot, and been the sing-along on many a car-trip. It is fabulous and should be enjoyed be all.

So that's it! My faves of mothering. Well, at least my non-obvious faves. Hope you enjoyed!

A Time to Reflect

Nearly 18 months ago, I posted here about our new beginning, as God was calling us away from our place of ministry, and onto something even greater.

Little did we know, that "something greater" was going to be months and months of questions, bitterness, and disappointment.

You see, when we left our church, we left confident. Confident that God would provide. However, we were naive in thinking it would happen overnight. I mean, we are the Ramseys. We know everyone in ministry. How hard could it be to find a place?

So confident, in fact, that we turned down two jobs, sure something better was going to come along.

Well, it is November 2010, and we are physically in the same boat we were in when we left our home in Texas. We still live with my in-laws, we still are applying for jobs, we still have no idea what God has in store.

Spiritually, however, we are on a whole other playing field.

When we left, I had so many questions. Where will we live? When will Ben get a job? How will we pay for things? Will I ever make friends? While I expected God to allow me to live as a testimony by ANSWERING all these questions, he has, in fact, he has allowed me to live as a testimony by not answering them at all.

Turns out, I don't need much money. I don't need an address of my own. I don't even need 10 amazing girlfriends. God has taught me in the last year that all I need is Him. Simple to Say. Painful to execute.

Where will we live? I have spent countless hours crying over my things. As a mother, all I want is to have my own space, my own domain, my own territory. Every time I would open the creaking garage door to our storage unit, I would cry as I saw all my stuff, piled high, going to waste. I thought I was hurting my children by not allowing them to live in a home they could call their own. I so worried that I was losing precious time with them, time that I would never get back, time that was quickly slipping through my fingers. I longed for the day when I could cook a meal on my newly purchased Rachel Ray cookware. I had lofty dreams of climbing into my own bed and sleeping sounder than I had in months. I just wanted life to be normal.

When will Ben get a job? Ben and I have spent the last 18 months feverishly applying for ministry positions. We have phone interviewed with at least 25 churches, face to face interviewed with at least a dozen, and been to the final stages with a few. And yet, God closes the door with each and every one. Now that is not to say that there hasn't been a lot of pain and heartache with each of those closed doors. Often, these doors are closed because of sin, lies, deception, and bitterness. And it has hurt. Hurt a lot. But we know our God is bigger then any lie someone can tell about us. Bigger than any bitterness people hold. And greater than any dagger Satan may throw our way. So we continue to overcome. We continue to push through. We continue to persevere. Because we must. There are moments, though, that I cry out to the Lord and moments that I wonder if he has forgotten about us. All we want to do is spend the rest of our lives changing the next generation and equipping them to do great things for Jesus. All we want is to fulfill God's calling on our lives. And all we want, is for life to be normal again.

How will we pay for things? This question may be the scariest question I had. Ask any mom, and she will tell you the financial demands of raising children. I wondered how I would afford enough food to feed their growing appetite. I worried about the clothes on their back and the shoes on their feet. I worried about everything. And I just didn't want to worry anymore. I just want to live a normal life.

Will I ever make friends? While in Texas, God had blessed me with some amazing friends. Friends at church, friends at MOPS, and friends from a local Bible Study. They had been so influential in my life and in my spiritual development. I was sure, wherever we moved, that God would provide the same. While God has brought some amazing women into my life that have been a tremendous help to me as a wife and mother, this place has also brought about some of the deepest hurts I have ever felt. There are days that I walk through life, feeling like I am consumed with a burden, unable to really catch my breath, and barely able to life one foot in front of the other. There have been days when all I needed was a best friend who would offer nothing more than a listening ear. There have been days when I have just wanted to cry, eat chocolate, and dream of simpler times. Why wouldn't God answer that for me? Why is no one there for me? Why does no one see it on my face? Why can't things just go back to normal?

So many questions. And yet, seemingly, no answers. At least not the answers I wanted.

It wasn't until just a few months ago that God began to change my heart. Sometimes no answer is THE answer.

You see, I was so wrapped up in money, houses, jobs, friends, and things that I had lost focus on my true priority.

I wanted God to wash all my fears away, when he was only longing to use them to bring me into a deeper, richer relationship with Him.

Sometimes God DOES answer our prayers in the exact way we had imagined. Sometimes He DOES do miracles. Sometimes He DOES take all the suffering away. Sometimes He DOES move mountains.

And yet sometimes, when we ask to move a mountain, He responds my handing us a shovel.

I was asking to move a mountain. I was asking God to show up in our lives. I was begging him to answer our prayers. And yet I was so unwilling to do anything about it. So unwilling to trust God and his provision for my life. So unwilling to seek after God with all my heart. So unwilling to grab a shovel.

There are still moments that I feel lost and alone. There are still moments that I find myself crying out of fear and desperation. There are sometimes that I allow the stress of it all to overtake me. There are sometimes that I take out my frustrations on my family.

There are still moments I am not proud of. There are moments I long for my stuff and moments I wish God would call us to a place of ministry. There are still moments that I worry about how we will afford Christmas for our children this year. And there are still moments that I long for a dear friend. And yes, there are still moments that I long for things to be normal again.

But by the grace of God, and by his strength in my life - those moments are getting fewer and further between. I am learning to be still amidst the storm and to trust him through all things. I am learning that all I really need in life is Him, and when I rest quietly in that, he will sustain my every desire.

I know that God will answer my prayers. Although I no longer pray for a house, a job, lots of money, or a friend. Rather, I pray that God would fulfill Ephesians 3:20 in my life:

"God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us."

He WILL do far more than I could ever imagine. He WILL do more than I could ever guess or request. He WILL come to our rescue. And He WILL keep my head up through it all.


P.S. We are ANXIOUSLY awaiting God's perfect place of ministry for us, and don't worry, you all will be some of the first to know!

Sweet children,

I am sure, someday, you will find yourself facing a similar struggle. An instance when you have to put your entire trust and hope in your Heavenly Father. I hope that you will find this story and learn from the mistakes of your mommy. I hope you will trust easier, give up control willingly, and prepare yourself for God's richest blessings on you. No matter the struggle, your mommy loves you more with every passing day. Go and do great things for Jesus. Be a testimony of his grace and goodness. I truly believe that God had tremendous things mapped out for each of your lives. Things your mommy can't even imagine. Don't let your circumstances stop you. Grab a shovel, and move your mountain. I love you.

Blogging Challenge - Day 10

Mine is over. Still wanna join? Here are the rules. One.Last.Time.

Day 10 - A picture of you last year, and a picture of you now. How have you changed.

Well, most obviously, I am no longer with child.

Well, at least I don't think I am.

Either way, I am not ginormously pregnant, like I was at this time last year.

Ben and I had taken the kiddos to a pumpkin patch with some of our good friends. That is me in the white.

I know what you are thinking, but when you are ginormously this huge, you don't take pictures of yourself willingly.

But here I am now...

With said child on the OUTSIDE of my stomach, and I am down about 45 pounds (including baby). Which is A.Maz.Ing.

On a more serious side, I am a more patient mother, a more understanding wife, and hopefully a better friend.

My most drastic change, however, has been in my relationship with Jesus. At this time last year, I was disgruntled at our situation, nervous about our finances, and bitter against some people who had done us wrong. Just to name a few.

God has taught me over the past year to be anxious for nothing, and to take this "wilderness" experience, as God's desire to grow and shape us. He is preparing us for something GREAT and we must be patient.

I have learned to let go of my finances, and watch God provide.

And I have learned to forgive those who hurt us the most. It is amazing the freedom found when I let go of my hurts. And it is amazing to know that God forgives my constant grievances. I am so unworthy, but I am so grateful for his grace.

I hope at this time next year, I can be even more changed. And I plan to remain faithful to HIM no matter how difficult those changes might be.

The Great Blogging Challege - Day 9

Aren't you sad its almost over? Well, start your own!

Day 9 -A letter to your parents.

I have been somewhat dreading this post.

Not because my parents leave me void of words. No, the exact opposite is my problem.

I am not sure I can adequately express onto paper just how much they have meant to me, and subsequently, how much they have meant to my husband and children

But, try I must.

Dear Mom,

Although I call you mom, the name mentor, teacher, and best friend, are probably more appropriate words to call you. It sometimes seems like God designed you specifically for me, and I am oh so thankful.

As a young girls, you taught me the importance of upholding our family name and respecting my daddy. You encouraged me to dreams big dreams and never take no for an answer. You gave me a love for writing and encouraged my creative side. You always allowed me to try, even when you knew I would fail. And you taught me to be a good friend, even when others turned their back on me.

As a teenager, you encouraged me to soar my wings and be independent. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to send you 14 year old daughter halfway around the world to teach English to Polish teenagers, but it is because of your sacrifice, and your encouragement that I soared my rings, and subsequently altered my life forever. You threw the best backyard parties and always made our home a place I wanted to be. You put on your "cheer mom" shirt and screamed your lungs out every February in Dallas. And you listened to me cry my eyes out over broken hearts and broken relationships.

Since becoming a wife and mom, you have taken on yet another role. You are still my cheerleader, still my secret keeper, and still my best friend. But now, you are a mentor. As I face life's most difficult challenges of marriage and motherhood, you are always there, pointing me back to the Bible and pointing me to the truth. This past year has been a daunting one for me, and you have seen my heart hurt more than any mom would like. You have hurt right along with me and have been my only consistent. You never judge, never question, never criticize. You always encourage, always offer hope, and always speak Scripture. You will never truly know how important you have been to me this past year.

I tell you often, but probably not enough. I am proud to be your daughter, and love you more everyday. God blessed me mightily when he allowed me to be your daughter. Thank you for who you have been, who you are, and who you will be.

Dear Dad,

While mom might be my best friend and closest confidante, you are my hero. It is because of you that our family remains. It is because of you that our family has a testimony that offers hope and healing to families left broken and bruised. It is because of you that I whispered an innocent prayer, calling our for a Savior that would change my life forever. And it is because of you that I married the man of my dreams.

As a little girl, I watched you make a tremendous stand for my family and I will always be indebted to you for honoring God and keeping our family intact. You loved unconditionally and unceasingly - just as Jesus does. While those few years were probably very difficult for all of us, they are still filled with positive memories, so thank you.

As a young teenager, you took me on date nights and showed a genuine interest in me. Our evenings at the go-cart ring and the local ice cream parlor are some of my most cherished memories. My high school girlfriends still talk about "cool Mr. L" and his midnight pizza runs. I remember our trips to Washington DC and Kansas City. I remember when you took me jean shopping, and you were so good to smile and nod. And I remember sitting on a curb of a local college, as we shared a box of pizza and a liter of Sprite. It was then you poured out your heart for my future, begging me to settle for nothing less than God's best. I didn't understand at the time, but I would in two weeks - when I would meet my groom.

You were so good to not laugh to my face when I told you that I had met the man I wanted to marry. Instead, you promised to pray and promised to look into him further. Unannounced to me, you began meeting with Ben weekly for almost 9 months, protecting both my heart and his. You promised to stop at nothing to find the best for your daughter, and let me assure you dad - you hit the jackpot. Four years later, you gave me away and officiated the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen. You cried, you coughed, and you made the audience stand for almost eight minutes, but I mostly remember the love in your eye as you saw your daughter marry a man who had become a friend.

Thank you dad, for not giving up there. You continue to mentor Ben and I and continue to offer us hope and encouragement as we sometimes stand alone and without promise. Your strength through adversity gives us a hope for the future, and reassures us that God does have a plan. You paved the way for us. Thank you for showing me a little piece of Jesus.

And thank you for teaching me how to hide my gum.

Mom and Dad, you have provided memories to last a lifetime, and have been a large part in our ability to make memories with our own family. Your grandchildren adore you, and I am so glad they have a Memaw and Poppy that points them to Jesus. You have begun a legacy that will not soon be forgotten.

I love you with every ounce of my being. It is an honor to carry your name, and I hope that I will always wear it well.




Love,
Diffy, Princess, & Motor-mouth

The Great Blogging Challenge - Day 8

Da' Rules.

Day 8 - Something you crave.

Chips & Salsa.

Pregnant or not, I crave them the same.

The Great Blogging Challenge - Day 7

Just call me a Rule Follower!

Day 7 - Nicknames you have and why you have them.

The only real nickname I have ever been awarded (besides mom, mommy, mommy-dearest, and yo-mom!) is Diffy.

Of course, this came from the mouth of my lovely older brother.

Don't siblings give the best nicknames? For instance, I can't get EK and P to stop calling their brother "Stoner." Someday, they will understand. But for now, they continue to do it - mostly to drive me nuts, I'm sure.

The story goes something like this:

Neal, being three years older than me, was still in his fumbling-around-with-words-and-pronunciation stage, and when his darling, perfect, adorable baby sister was born, he began to call her Mere-dif. Of course, as any good parent would, they made encouraged Neal to make it a little cuter by calling me Mere-diffy. But like a good American, Neal got lazy and eventually dropped the "Mere" and just suck with "diffy."

So there ya have it.

I know what you are thinking. Diffy isn't that bad of a nickname. In fact, you might even things its cute.

But it is cute when you go to junior high?

Or when you graduate high school?

Or how about when it is called out to you as you are standing on the threshold of your new dorm room?

Or how about when you go to summer camp and all the counselors make you tell the story of how you got that nickname, and then they develop that into a new nickname - Different Strokes.

Or how about when your cousins still call you that when wishing you happy birthday on your facebook wall?

Or how about when you are a mom, and your children look at you weird when their uncle calls you that To.This.Day.

Is it still cute?

I suppose it is. I mean, I still answer to it.

The Great Blogging Challenge - Day 6

Link'in up the rules!

Day 6 - When your ipod is on shuffle, what are the first 10 songs it might play. With no explanation.

Yeah, ok. So I added that last part. But I consider myself a rule follower, so if it is in the rules, then by-golly, I must stick to them.

You know, and spare you from the agony of me rambling on and on and on about absolutely nothing when all you really want to read about is what songs, that are in no particular order, that I might listen to on my ipod, car radio, computer, etc. while shopping, running, or chilling.

Phew. See what I mean.

Here we go:

Oh, and don't judge.

I am not a teeny bopper, but somewhere deep inside, is one that is dying to get out.

1. Bruno Mars - Just the Way You Are
2. Taio Cruz- Dynamite
3. Jason Derulo - Ridin' Solo (the edited version)
4. Katy Perry - Teenage Dream
5. Kesha - Blah Blah Blah (edited)

I said don't judge.

So stop laughing. It is my run music and let me tell you, it is Mo-tivating.

6. Barney's Favorite - Six Little Ducks
7. Dora the Explorer - The Chicken Dance

Just keepin' it real.

8. Planetshakers - Free
9. Hillsong - Hosanna
10. Kari Jobe - No Sweeter Name

Gets me through the hard days.

So there ya go. With no (er, I mean, little) explanation.

Catch ya on the flip side - or tomorrow. Whatever.

Blogging Challenge - Day 5

Of course, the guidelines.

Day 5 - Short term goals for this month and dreams for your life ahead.

Mostly because I am lazy, but also to keep from boring you with useless jibber jabber, I am going to list this in, well, list form.

Novel idea, I know.

And you're welcome.

Short Term Monthly Goals:

• How perfect is it that this "monthly goal" question landed on November 1st? Totally didn't plan that. This isn't really a monthly goal, is it? Well, this particular bullet doesn't count. It is my blog, stop judging.
• Share my faith at least once a week.
• Finish my Christmas shopping.
• Blog at least 15 times this month
• Lose five pounds
• Email/Facebook every single girl in my 9th grade small group - there is a TON of them.
• Sell the rest of my "craigslist stash" that is in the garage.
• Add at least $100 to the furniture fund.
• Bake my weight in things that smell "fallish."
• Trust God for my circumstances. Believe he will provide, even when it seems unrealistic.
• Run at least 3 times a week.
• Not buy ANYTHING for myself.
• Make my tithe the first check I write after each paycheck.

Dream for your life ahead:

• Be in youth ministry. Maybe full-time, maybe as a volunteer. But BE IN MINISTRY!
• Go on a romantic getaway just me and Ben.
• Get a house, and consequently, a permanent, full-time position..
• See all my family members come to know Jesus as their Savior.
• Take a family vacation every year.
• Take Ben somewhere outside of the United States.
• Have more kids.
• Learn to grow a garden.
• Take Ben to Fenway Park.
• Take time to enjoy each stage of life with my children.
• Read through the Bible in a year.
• Take more pictures.
• Be a better friend.

Whew. I feel like the guys on The Buried Life.

And what is a good post without a good picture....

Can't wait to read your goals!

Even if you haven't been playing along, link up for this post, it was so interesting to write!